What a Somatic Therapist Wants You to Know About Boundaries and the Nervous System
Do you ever say "yes" when you really mean "no"?
Do you get overwhelmed around certain people, but you’re not sure why?
Do you feel drained after spending time with others—even people you love?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you might be struggling with boundaries.
Boundaries are a big deal in mental health. You’ve probably heard the phrase “set healthy boundaries.” But what does that really mean? And what does it have to do with your body or your nervous system?
As a somatic therapist, I want you to know this: boundaries aren’t just something you say—they’re something you feel. Your body and nervous system play a big role in helping you understand when something feels safe, respectful, or too much.
In this blog, you’ll learn:
What boundaries are (and what they’re not)
How your nervous system reacts when boundaries are crossed
Signs your body might be saying “no” (even if your mouth says “yes”)
How somatic therapy helps you build body-based boundaries
Simple steps to start listening to your body today
Let’s begin with the basics.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries are the lines that help us protect our energy, time, and emotions. They tell others what’s okay and what’s not okay. They help you feel safe and respected.
There are many kinds of boundaries:
Physical boundaries (personal space, touch)
Emotional boundaries (what you share and how much)
Time boundaries (how much time you give to others)
Mental boundaries (your thoughts, beliefs, and opinions)
Energetic boundaries (your overall capacity to connect or give)
When you have clear boundaries, you feel more in control of your life. You can make choices that are right for you without guilt or fear. You know when to say yes and when to say no.
But when your boundaries are blurry or ignored, you might feel:
Drained or overwhelmed
Anxious or irritable
Numb or disconnected
Like you're always people-pleasing
Like you’re losing yourself in relationships
This is where your nervous system comes in.
How Boundaries and the Nervous System Are Connected
Your nervous system is your body’s built-in alarm system. It helps you stay safe by noticing what feels okay—and what doesn’t.
When something feels unsafe or uncomfortable, your nervous system reacts. It might:
Speed up your heart
Make your chest feel tight
Cause your stomach to turn
Make you feel frozen or foggy
Trigger a strong urge to get away
These reactions are part of your body’s fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response.
Let’s break those down quickly:
Fight: You feel angry, defensive, or ready to argue.
Flight: You feel like running away or avoiding the situation.
Freeze: You feel stuck, shut down, or numb.
Fawn: You try to please others to avoid conflict (even if it means ignoring your needs).
When you’re not used to setting boundaries, your body might react strongly—but you might not know why. You might override these signs and push through. Over time, this can lead to burnout, resentment, and even physical illness.
Somatic therapy helps you reconnect with those signals and honor them.
What Is Somatic Therapy?
Somatic therapy is a body-based approach to healing. The word “somatic” comes from the Greek word “soma,” which means “body.” This type of therapy focuses on how emotions, memories, and boundaries show up in your body—not just in your thoughts.
Somatic therapists help you:
Notice what your body feels during stress or connection
Understand your nervous system’s signals
Release stuck energy or trauma
Practice setting boundaries that feel safe and clear
Somatic therapy is especially helpful if you’ve ever felt:
Disconnected from your body
Unsure of what you’re feeling
Guilty for saying no
Overwhelmed by other people’s emotions
Like you always put others first
Let’s talk more about what boundary signals feel like in your body.
Signs Your Body Might Be Asking for a Boundary
Sometimes your body knows something is off before your brain does. Here are some common signs that your nervous system may be telling you a boundary is needed:
Physical Signs
A lump in your throat
A tight chest or shortness of breath
A sick feeling in your stomach
A racing heart or sweaty palms
Muscle tension, especially in your neck or jaw
Sudden tiredness or heaviness
Emotional Signs
Irritability or sudden anger
Feeling anxious or on edge
Feeling sad or hopeless
Feeling numb or shut down
Feeling like you want to disappear
Behavioral Signs
Avoiding certain people or situations
Cancelling plans a lot
Overcommitting and then regretting it
Feeling stuck in people-pleasing patterns
These are body cues. They’re messages from your nervous system trying to get your attention. You don’t need to “fix” them. You just need to listen.
Why Boundaries Are Hard—Especially After Trauma
If boundaries feel hard for you, please know that it’s not your fault.
Many people never learned what healthy boundaries look like—especially if they grew up in homes where emotions, space, or personal choices weren’t respected.
If you’ve experienced trauma, your nervous system may have learned to keep you safe by:
Being quiet
Avoiding conflict
Making others happy
Ignoring your own needs
This is called fawning, and it’s very common in trauma survivors. You may have had to put your needs aside to survive. But over time, this can leave you feeling anxious, exhausted, or resentful.
The good news is: your body can learn new patterns. That’s where somatic therapy comes in.
How Somatic Therapy Helps You Build Stronger Boundaries
In somatic therapy, we don’t just talk about boundaries—we practice them. Little by little, in ways that feel safe.
Here are some things we might explore:
1. Body Awareness
You’ll learn to notice what your body feels like when you're a "yes" or a "no." This might include:
Practicing saying "no" and noticing your body’s reaction
Tuning in to how your body feels around certain people or situations
Using grounding techniques to stay present when emotions rise
2. Nervous System Regulation
You’ll learn tools to calm your nervous system so you can make clearer decisions. This might include:
Breathwork
Gentle movement or stretching
Guided imagery
Touch or pressure techniques (like placing a hand over your heart)
3. Practicing Boundaries in Session
With your somatic therapist, you’ll practice:
Asking for what you need
Saying “I don’t know” or “I’m not ready”
Exploring your right to say no without guilt
Role-playing real-life boundary-setting situations
4. Releasing Stuck Patterns
If your body holds on to past experiences where boundaries were ignored or violated, we might work on:
Moving through stored tension
Releasing trauma responses like freeze or fawn
Rebuilding trust between your body and mind
It’s not about being perfect. It’s about getting to know your body, your needs, and your limits.
Simple Ways to Start Listening to Your Body Today
You don’t have to wait for therapy to begin practicing. Here are some easy ways to start connecting with your body and boundaries now:
Check in with your body before saying yes.
Before you agree to something, pause and ask yourself:
“Do I have the energy for this?”
“Does this feel like a yes or a no in my body?”
Practice saying no in small ways.
Try something simple like:
“I’m not available this weekend.”
“I need some quiet time right now.”
Even a tiny “no” helps your nervous system learn that you are safe to set limits.
Notice your body’s reactions around people.
Ask yourself:
“Do I feel more relaxed or more tense after spending time with them?”
Your body might be giving you clues about your energetic boundaries.
Use grounding tools when you feel overwhelmed.
Try:
Putting your feet on the floor and feeling the support of the ground
Holding a comforting object (like a smooth stone or soft fabric)
Taking 5 slow, deep breaths while placing a hand on your chest
Your Body Knows What You Need
Your body is wise.
Your nervous system isn’t broken—it’s trying to protect you.
And your boundaries aren’t selfish—they’re necessary.
Learning to feel, trust, and honor your boundaries is part of healing. With the support of somatic therapy, you can build the skills to listen to your body and set limits with confidence and care.
It’s not about building walls. It’s about building bridges—to yourself, your safety, and your wholeness.
Want to Learn More About Somatic Therapy?
At Embodied Wellness, PLLC we help people like you reconnect with your body, set clear boundaries, and regulate your nervous system—gently and at your own pace. Contact us today to schedule a free consultation or learn more about our virtual therapy options. You deserve to feel safe, empowered, and in control of your own life.
What If Your Body Already Knows Where Your Boundaries Are? Work with a Somatic Therapist in Michigan
If setting limits or saying “no” feels confusing or even unsafe, you’re not alone. At Embodied Wellness, PLLC, we offer somatic therapy in Michigan to help you reconnect with your body’s signals and rebuild trust in your nervous system—gently, at your own pace. Whether you freeze in the moment, say yes when you mean no, or feel constantly overwhelmed, our work together begins by noticing what safety and “enough” feel like for you. Somatic therapy helps you recognize when your body is asking for space, rest, or protection—and how to respond with care.
Our approach is trauma-informed, body-centered, and built on the belief that healing happens through awareness, not pressure. You don’t have to have all the words—we’ll help you listen to what your body is already telling you. Somatic therapy isn’t about perfection; it’s about permission to feel, to notice, and to honor your limits. You deserve support that helps you feel safe in your body and confident in your boundaries.
Be matched with one of our somatic therapists in Michigan
Start building boundaries that begin with your body—not just your words
Additional Online Therapy Services in Michigan
At Embodied Wellness, PLLC, we offer a variety of holistic treatment services—including somatic therapy—that support adults and teens navigating anxiety, depression, trauma, and OCD. We specialize in EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, and DBT for trauma, all of which help clients feel safer and more connected in their bodies. We also provide CBT, ERP, and empath counseling. We offer online therapy in Michigan. Start your healing journey today through somatic therapy at our Detroit-based practice. We also have low-cost therapy options available!
About the Author
Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP, is the founder of Embodied Wellness, PLLC—a group therapy practice offering compassionate, trauma-informed care, including somatic therapy in Michigan for adults and teens. With training in Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, and Internal Family Systems (IFS), Sarah supports clients in rebuilding their connection to their bodies and learning how to trust the signals their nervous systems are sending. Her team specializes in helping individuals who feel stuck in people-pleasing, overwhelmed by others’ emotions, or unsure how to set boundaries that feel safe and sustainable. At Embodied Wellness, the focus isn’t on pushing through—it’s on slowing down, listening inward, and creating space for healing that honors your body’s pace.