Have you ever been told to “just feel your feelings” but had no idea what that really means? If so, you’re not alone. Many people grow up learning how to shut down their emotions instead of letting them out. That might have helped you survive at one point—but now it might be getting in the way.

If you’re trying somatic therapy for the first time, it might feel confusing or even scary. This is especially true if you’re used to ignoring, avoiding, or numbing your feelings. But don’t worry—somatic therapy is all about going at your own pace and gently reconnecting with your body and emotions.

In this blog, we’ll talk about what somatic therapy is, why some people have a hard time feeling their feelings, and how you can get started with somatic therapy—even if it’s all brand new.

What Is Somatic Therapy?

Somatic therapy is a type of mental health treatment that focuses on the mind-body connection. Instead of just talking about your thoughts, a somatic therapist also helps you pay attention to what your body is feeling.

The word “somatic” means “of the body.” Somatic therapy helps people notice and work through physical sensations—like tight muscles, shallow breathing, or a racing heart—that are linked to emotions and trauma.

Sometimes we store old emotional pain in the body without even realizing it. That’s why somatic therapy can be especially helpful for healing from symptoms of trauma, anxiety, and stress.

Some people do somatic therapy in person, but somatic therapy online is also a growing option. Virtual sessions can still help you learn to feel safe in your body and explore your emotions from the comfort of home.

Why Is It So Hard to Feel Your Feelings?

If you’re not used to feeling your feelings, there’s a reason. And for many people—including those who are **neurodivergent**, **LGBTQ+**, or **BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, and People of Color)**—there may be *many* reasons.
You didn’t choose to shut down your emotions. Your brain and body adapted to help you survive in environments that may not have been safe, supportive, or welcoming. Those adaptations made sense at the time—but they can make it hard to feel connected to your emotions or your body now.
Let’s explore some of the most common reasons why feeling your feelings can be difficult—especially for people from marginalized or misunderstood communities.

1. You Grew Up in a Home Where Feelings Weren’t Safe

In many families, expressing emotions isn’t encouraged or accepted. You may have been told to “stop crying,” “be strong,” or “get over it.” You may have been punished, ignored, or shamed when you showed feelings like sadness, fear, or anger.

For some BIPOC communities, these messages are tied to generational trauma and the need to survive in a world shaped by racism, colonialism, and systemic injustice. Parents or caregivers may have shut down emotions because they weren’t allowed to express theirs—and they feared their children would be hurt if they did.

For LGBTQ+ folks, your identity may not have been accepted, making it unsafe to express your true self—let alone your emotions. And for neurodivergent people, feelings might have been overwhelming or misunderstood. You may have been told you were “too sensitive,” “too much,” or “not trying hard enough.”

In somatic therapy, we make space for those past messages. We don’t rush you to feel—we help you understand why it’s been hard to feel, and offer a path forward rooted in safety and compassion.

2. You Learned to Be Strong All the Time

Many people—especially those with marginalized identities—feel like they have to hold everything together. You may have been taught that being strong meant hiding your emotions, pushing through pain, and never letting your guard down.

For LGBTQ+ individuals, especially trans and nonbinary folks, "being strong" might have meant masking who you are to stay safe. For BIPOC individuals, it could have meant suppressing emotions to avoid being labeled “angry,” “too emotional,” or “unprofessional.” And for neurodivergent people, it often meant learning to mask or camouflage your natural ways of thinking, feeling, or communicating to fit into a world not designed for your brain.

Over time, this constant effort can disconnect you from your body and feelings. Somatic therapy gently invites you to explore what strength really means—and shows you that it’s okay to feel, to soften, and to ask for support.

3. You Experienced Trauma

Trauma doesn’t always come from one big event. It can come from ongoing stress, isolation, bullying, or being made to feel like you don’t belong. This kind of trauma is common for people who are neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, or part of communities targeted by racism or oppression.

If you were:

Teased or punished for stimming, fidgeting, or needing quiet as a neurodivergent child
Harassed or harmed because of your gender identity, race, or sexual orientation
Forced to hide who you are to “fit in”
Denied access to affirming care or support

…then your brain may have gone into survival mode. It may have learned to shut down emotional responses to keep you safe. This is called dissociation, and it can feel like numbness, detachment, or zoning out.

Somatic therapy helps you reconnect with your body and emotions in a slow, supported way. You don’t have to relive painful memories. Instead, you learn how to gently notice what your body is feeling—one moment at a time.

4. You Cope by Numbing Out

Many people use coping strategies that help them avoid overwhelming emotions. This might look like:

Binge-watching shows or endlessly scrolling online
Overworking or focusing on others’ needs instead of your own
Eating to soothe discomfort or forgetting to eat at all
Using substances to disconnect
“Masking” in social situations to appear okay

These strategies are often necessary for people whose identities or ways of being aren’t fully accepted by the world around them. If you’re neurodivergent, you may have spent your whole life trying to manage sensory overload or avoid being misunderstood. If you’re LGBTQ+ or BIPOC, you may have dealt with constant pressure to “prove yourself” or “stay safe.”

None of these coping strategies make you weak. They are intelligent ways your body has protected you.

In somatic therapy for neurodivergent, LGBTQ+, and BIPOC individuals, the goal isn’t to take away those tools—it’s to expand your options. You’ll explore new ways to feel safe in your body, soothe stress, and connect to your emotions without getting overwhelmed.

What Does Somatic Therapy for Trauma Look Like?

When you start somatic therapy for trauma, your therapist won’t push you to dive into painful memories or intense emotions right away. In fact, safety is the most important part.

Here’s what you can expect from your sessions, especially early on:

Building Trust and Safety

In somatic therapy, trust and safety are the foundation for healing. Your therapist knows that before you can start feeling your feelings or noticing your body, you have to feel safe—both in the therapy space and inside your own body.

Your therapist will work with you to slow down and pay close attention to what feels okay and what doesn’t. This means you might talk about your environment—like where you’re sitting, the lighting, or sounds around you—to make sure you feel comfortable. You may also explore your relationships with others: who makes you feel safe, and who makes you feel on edge.

They will gently guide you to notice how your body reacts in different situations. For example, you might notice your shoulders tightening when you talk about work, or your heart beating faster when you remember a difficult moment. Recognizing these reactions helps you and your therapist understand what parts of your body need more care and attention.

For many people—especially those from marginalized communities like LGBTQ+, BIPOC, or neurodivergent individuals—feeling safe can be hard because of past experiences with judgment, rejection, or trauma. Your therapist’s role is to create a space where you feel respected, seen, and understood exactly as you are. No rush, no pressure, just steady care.

Noticing Body Sensations

One of the main parts of somatic therapy is learning to notice the feelings inside your body or the “felt sense.” These sensations can be small, like a flutter in your stomach, or bigger, like tightness in your chest. You don’t have to name the emotion right away; you just start by paying attention.

Your therapist might invite you to start simply—by noticing your feet on the ground or how your breath moves in your chest. These small steps help you begin to reconnect with your body in a gentle way.

You might notice warmth, coolness, pressure, tingling, or even numbness. These body signals are clues to what your mind and emotions are doing. Over time, paying attention to these sensations can help you understand how your body holds stress, sadness, or fear—and how it feels when you start to feel calm or safe.

For people who aren’t used to feeling their feelings, this can take practice. You may even feel unsure or distracted at first—and that’s totally normal. The goal is not to force feelings but to become curious about your body’s messages.

Going at Your Own Pace

Somatic therapy respects that healing is personal. You are always the one in control. If something feels too much, you can slow down, pause, or stop altogether. We call this titration, where we only do little bits at a time.

There’s no pressure to feel everything at once, or even to feel anything at all right away. The point is to create enough safety and comfort so your feelings can come up naturally—when you’re ready.

Sometimes, your body might send a signal that it needs a break—a deep breath, a stretch, or a moment to look around the room. Your therapist will support you in listening to these signals and honoring your boundaries.

This pace is especially important for folks who have experienced trauma, or who come from communities where expressing feelings wasn’t safe or welcomed. You get to decide how much to share, how quickly to move, and what feels okay in each moment.

Somatic therapy isn’t about pushing through pain—it’s about gently opening doors and letting healing happen bit by bit, on your terms.

Orienting

Orienting means using your eyes, ears, and other senses to take in your surroundings. It’s a natural way your body checks if you’re safe. Animals do it all the time—looking around, listening for sounds, noticing movement. Humans do it too, but trauma or stress can block this response.

In somatic therapy, your therapist may invite you to look around the room slowly, name things you see, or turn your head gently from side to side. You might:

Notice the colors in the space you're in
Feel your feet on the floor or your back on a chair
Hear sounds around you, like birds or the hum of your heater

These simple actions help your nervous system remember: “I’m not in danger right now. I’m safe enough to relax.”

For LGBTQ+ and BIPOC clients who’ve been in unsafe spaces—or for neurodivergent folks who’ve experienced sensory overload—orienting can help create a felt sense of safety. It gives you a chance to reset your body and remind it that this moment is different from the past.

Slowing Down

In a fast-paced world, we often push through discomfort without noticing what we feel. Many of us—especially neurodivergent and marginalized folks—are used to staying busy, staying alert, or staying masked just to get through the day.

But healing requires us to slow down.

In somatic therapy, slowing down means taking time to notice what’s happening right now—in your body, in your breath, and in your emotions. Your therapist may speak in a slower tone, pause between questions, or guide you to feel a sensation for a few extra seconds.

You might hear:

“Let’s just pause here and notice what that brings up.”
“What happens in your body as you say that?”
“Would it feel okay to take a breath before we keep going?”

This helps your nervous system shift out of “go-go-go” mode and into a state where real healing can happen. When things slow down, your body has a better chance of recognizing safety, processing emotions, and feeling more grounded.

Slowing down is especially helpful for trauma survivors who’ve learned to rush past their feelings or who’ve never had space to just be. It’s also helpful for neurodivergent clients who process sensations or emotions differently and need time to explore them without pressure.

How to Start Somatic Therapy When You’re Not Used to Feeling Anything

If this all sounds unfamiliar, that’s okay. You don’t need to know how to feel your feelings before starting. Your therapist will guide you step by step. But here are some gentle ways to begin reconnecting with your body:

1. Practice Naming Body Sensations

Before you name your emotions, try describing what’s happening in your body. For example:

“I feel tight in my chest.”
“My stomach feels like it’s in knots.”
“My hands are buzzing.”
“I feel heavy and tired.”

These body clues are often connected to your feelings, even if you don’t know what the emotion is yet.

2. Use Curiosity, Not Judgment

If you notice a sensation or feeling, try to stay curious about it. Instead of thinking, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” ask yourself:

“What might this sensation be trying to tell me?”
“When have I felt this before?”
“What does my body need right now?”

Being curious can help you learn more about your emotions without pushing them away.

3. Try Gentle Movement or Touch

Somatic therapy often includes small movements or gentle touch (even if it's just placing your hand on your heart or belly). These actions can help you stay connected to your body in a safe and soothing way.

Some simple examples:Stretch your arms and notice how that feels.

Place a weighted blanket over your shoulders.
Rock back and forth gently while sitting in a chair.

These may help your nervous system feel calmer and more present.

4. Try to Give Yourself Permission to Feel a Little at a Time

You don’t have to feel everything all at once. Emotions can be like waves—coming and going. In somatic therapy, learning to ride the waves of emotion is part of the healing process.

If a feeling starts to get too big, your therapist can help you “pendulate”—which means going back and forth between the intense feeling and something more neutral or calming. This helps you stay in your window of tolerance (the zone where your brain and body feel balanced).

5. Connect With a Somatic Therapist Online or Near You

If you’re looking for support, try searching for somatic therapy online or somatic therapy Detroit (or your local city). Many therapists offer video sessions where you can explore these practices from home. Virtual therapy can still include powerful body-based tools like breathwork, visualization, or grounding exercises.

6. Be Kind to Yourself

It’s totally normal to feel awkward, disconnected, or unsure when you first start this work. Healing takes time—and it doesn’t happen in a straight line. The fact that you’re even curious about feeling your feelings is a huge step.

You deserve to feel safe in your body. You deserve to express emotions without shame. And with practice, somatic therapy can help you get there.

What If You Still Can’t Feel Anything?

Sometimes people get frustrated when they try somatic therapy and feel nothing at all. If that happens, it might be your nervous system protecting you—and that’s okay.

Here are a few reminders:

Numbness is still a body response. It’s information. You can get curious about what it might mean.
You can focus on what is there. Maybe you notice your breath, your posture, or your heartbeat. That’s a great place to start.
There’s no right or wrong way to do this. Every body is different. Every healing journey is unique.

With support, consistency, and patience, most people begin to notice more over time.

Start Somatic Therapy Online!

Learning to feel your feelings again is not about doing it “perfectly.” It’s about creating enough safety, support, and awareness so that emotions can flow naturally—without being stuffed down or overwhelming.

Somatic therapy gives you tools to listen to your body, honor your emotions, and come back home to yourself. You don’t need to do it alone. A skilled therapist can help you move at your own pace and celebrate every small step forward.

If you’re looking for somatic therapy in Detroit or want to try somatic therapy online, there are many resources available to help you begin. No matter how disconnected you feel today, healing is still possible. You can feel again—and you don’t have to be afraid of your feelings anymore.

To start somatic therapy at Embodied Wellness, PLLC follow these steps:

Schedule a free 15-minute consultation for somatic therapy today.
Make your first appointment with a somatic therapist near you!
Begin to feel your feeling!

Other Services at Embodied Wellness in Ann Arbor, Detroit, and throughout Michigan

Are you looking for other services besides EMDR? Our other services include Empath therapy and Online Therapy. Our specialties include OCD treatment and ERP therapy, DBT, depression treatment, and Internal Family Systems. All these online therapy services are available for teens and adolescents as well as adults. Get in touch with our Detroit-based practice today!

About the Author:

Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP is the founder of Embodied Wellness, PLLC, a group therapy practice providing online therapy in Michigan. She is passionate about expanding awareness of somatic therapy as a way to treat and heal trauma. She incorporates other holistic treatments into her practice including EMDR, IFS, and attachment theory.

How Do You Do Somatic Therapy When You’re Not Used to Feeling Your Feelings?