Loneliness is a normal part of life. But for people in the LGBTQ+ community, loneliness can feel even heavier. Whether you’re coming out, dealing with rejection, or just trying to find your place in the world, you are not alone in feeling this way.

This blog will explore why LGBTQ+ people often feel lonely, how that affects mental health, and most importantly, how to build real connection. You’ll also learn ways to find supportive spaces and build self-love along the way.

What Is Loneliness?

Loneliness is more than just being alone. It’s the feeling of being disconnected from others—even when you’re around people. It can also be the feeling of being disconnected from yourself! It can feel like no one really understands you, or like you have no one to talk to about the things that matter.

Signs of Loneliness

Feeling like no one “gets” you
Spending a lot of time alone, even if you don’t want to
Feeling left out or invisible
Having trouble making or keeping friendships
Feeling sad, numb, or anxious
Using social media, food, or substances to escape

Why Loneliness Happens in the LGBTQ+ Community

Everyone feels lonely sometimes. But for people in the LGBTQ+ community, that feeling can happen more often and go deeper. This is because LGBTQ+ people often deal with things that others don’t—like fear, rejection, and not feeling safe just being themselves.

Here are some reasons why loneliness can be especially common in the LGBTQ+ community:

1. Fear of Rejection

Many LGBTQ+ people grow up afraid of not being accepted. They may worry that their friends, family, or community won’t understand or support them. This fear can lead to hiding parts of who they are. When you can’t be your true self around others, it’s hard to feel close to anyone.

Some people might even keep their identity a secret to stay safe. But hiding who you are can make you feel isolated, even in a room full of people. Over time, this fear can turn into deep loneliness.

Being worried about rejection can also stop someone from making new friends or trying to date. It becomes harder to trust people when you’re always wondering if they’ll judge or leave you.

2. Coming Out Is Hard!

Coming out means telling others about your sexual orientation or gender identity. It can be one of the most important and powerful steps in a person’s life—but it can also be one of the most painful.

Some people lose friends, are kicked out of their homes, or are treated unfairly after coming out. Even if things go well, the fear leading up to it can feel overwhelming. It takes a lot of energy to come out, and when people don’t respond with love, it can be heartbreaking.

Also, coming out is not just a one-time thing. Many LGBTQ+ people have to come out again and again—in school, at work, at church, with new friends, or even at the doctor’s office. That constant pressure can be exhausting and make people feel like they’re always explaining themselves.

When you’re going through this alone, it’s easy to feel like no one truly understands what you’re dealing with.

3. Lack of Safe Spaces

Not all places are safe or welcoming for LGBTQ+ people. Some schools, jobs, churches, and neighborhoods may be openly hostile or quietly unwelcoming. In these spaces, people may feel like they have to hide who they are just to stay safe.

When you’re not sure if it’s okay to be yourself, you stay guarded. You might avoid joining activities, attending events, or even using public bathrooms. This constant stress makes it harder to relax and connect with others.

Many LGBTQ+ people grow up without seeing people like them in their community or on TV. Without role models or safe spaces, it’s hard to imagine a future where you are loved and accepted just as you are.

Some people also live in areas where there are no LGBTQ+ community centers, pride events, or support groups. Without access to safe and affirming spaces, building strong connections becomes even harder.

4. Mental Health Struggles

Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t mean you automatically have mental health issues, but the discrimination, rejection, and pressure many LGBTQ+ people face can lead to problems like:

Depression
Anxiety
Post-traumatic stress
Low self-esteem

These mental health challenges can make it harder to reach out to others. You might think you’re not worth knowing or feel too exhausted to make new friends. Past trauma—like bullying, family rejection, or violence—can also make it hard to trust others or feel safe in relationships.

Mental health and loneliness often go hand in hand. Feeling isolated can make your mental health worse, and struggling with your mental health can make it harder to connect. That’s why it’s so important to get support when you need it.

5. Social Media Pressure

At first, social media can seem like a great way to meet other LGBTQ+ people. And sometimes, it really is! But it can also be a place where loneliness grows.

On social media, people often post only the best parts of their lives. You might see smiling couples, huge friend groups, or confident LGBTQ+ influencers living their “best life.” If your own life doesn’t look like that, you might start to feel like something is wrong with you.

But here’s the truth: social media doesn’t show the full picture. Everyone has struggles, even if they don’t post about them.

Too much time online can also take away from real-life connections. Scrolling for hours might feel like you’re staying connected, but it can leave you feeling more alone than before.

It’s okay to enjoy social media—but try not to compare your life to what you see on the screen. You are on your own journey, and that’s okay.

How Loneliness Affects Mental Health

Loneliness isn’t just something you feel in your heart—it can also affect your mind, your body, and how you see yourself. When someone feels lonely for a long time, it can lead to serious mental and physical health problems. That’s why it’s important to understand how deep loneliness can go, and why getting support matters.

Here are some of the ways loneliness can impact your overall health:

It Increases Stress and Anxiety

When you feel alone, your brain can go into “survival mode.” You may feel like you always have to protect yourself or stay on high alert. This creates constant stress, even when nothing dangerous is happening.

Chronic stress can make you feel jumpy, overwhelmed, or tired all the time. It can also make anxiety symptoms worse. You might worry more about what people think, overthink conversations, or avoid new situations altogether.

It Can Make Depression Worse

Loneliness and depression are often connected. Feeling like no one understands you—or that no one is there for you—can lead to deep sadness, numbness, or hopelessness.

You might lose interest in things you used to enjoy. You may have trouble getting out of bed, taking care of yourself, or even eating. The more isolated you feel, the harder it becomes to reach out, which makes depression feel even heavier.

It Disrupts Sleep

When your mind is full of stress, sadness, or racing thoughts, it’s hard to relax and fall asleep. Loneliness can lead to trouble falling asleep, waking up in the middle of the night, or sleeping too much during the day.

Lack of sleep can make everything feel worse. It can affect your mood, your energy levels, and your ability to focus. Over time, poor sleep can also weaken your immune system and increase your risk for other health issues.

It Lowers Your Immune System

Feeling lonely over long periods can weaken your body’s defenses. Studies show that people who feel isolated get sick more often and take longer to recover.

That’s because stress and emotional pain can actually change the way your body fights off illness. If you're getting colds often, feeling run-down, or struggling to heal from minor injuries, loneliness may be playing a part.

It Hurts Your Self-Esteem

When you’re lonely, it’s easy to start believing lies like, “No one wants to be around me,” or “I must be the problem.” Over time, this can damage your self-esteem and how you see your own worth.

You might start avoiding people out of fear that you’ll be rejected—or begin to believe that you don’t deserve love or friendship. These thoughts are painful and untrue, but they can feel very real when you’re isolated.

It’s important to remind yourself: Loneliness is something you’re experiencing—it’s not who you are.

It Can Lead to Risky Behaviors

Some people try to cope with loneliness by turning to things that numb the pain—like alcohol, drugs, overeating, or unsafe relationships. These behaviors might feel good in the moment, but they usually make the pain worse over time.

Others may throw themselves into work, school, or endless scrolling on social media just to distract themselves. But distractions don’t fix the root problem—they just cover it up for a while.

If you're using something unhealthy to escape loneliness, you’re not weak—you’re just trying to survive. But there are better ways to cope, and there are people who want to help you heal.

Finding Connection in the LGBTQ+ Community

Feeling lonely doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means you’re human. Everyone wants to feel seen, heard, and valued. It’s okay to crave connection. In fact, that craving is a sign of your strength and capacity to love. Even though it might seem impossible, there are ways to find connection that feels safe, healthy, and real.

1. Join LGBTQ+ Groups or Events

Look for LGBTQ+ support groups, book clubs, art nights, or sports leagues in your area. There are many LGBTQ+ centers or pride organizations in Metro Detroit and Ann Arbor that host events.

If in-person options are hard to find, try virtual groups. Websites like Meetup, TrevorSpace, or local Facebook groups often have events just for LGBTQ+ people!

2. Volunteer for LGBTQ+ Causes

Helping others can also help you feel less alone. Volunteer for LGBTQ+ organizations, shelters, or mental health centers. You’ll meet like-minded people and feel good about giving back. It will remind you that you’re not the only one feeling this way. Here are some ways to help others in the LGBTQ+ community who may also be struggling:

Invite someone to coffee or a walk
Share mental health resources
Send a kind message or check-in
Listen without judgment

Kindness creates connection. When we support each other, we all grow stronger.

3. Reach Out to Trusted People

You might already know someone who supports you—maybe a teacher, a cousin, or an old friend. Reaching out can be scary, but people often surprise you with their kindness.

Start with a text like: “Hey, I’d love to catch up sometime. Do you want to hang out?” Sometimes all it takes is one person to feel less alone.

4. Get a Therapist Who Understands LGBTQ+ Issues

Talking to a mental health therapist who has experience with LGBTQ+ clients can be a huge relief. They can help you understand your feelings, set goals, and build confidence. Many therapists now offer online sessions too. At Embodied Wellness, we provide gender affirming care and understand the unique issues of the LGBTQ community.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

The way you talk to yourself matters. Try being as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend. Instead of: “Why can’t I make friends?” Try: “I’m doing my best, and it’s okay to take small steps.” Self-love is a practice. It takes time, but it starts with giving yourself patience and care.

When Nothing Helps…

Even if you do all the right things, some days might still feel lonely. That is normal! Healing and connection take time and there are bumps along the way.

Here are a few things to try on tough days:

Journal your feelings – Writing helps you process emotions
Listen to LGBTQ+ podcasts – Hearing others’ stories helps you feel seen
Create something – Art, music, or writing can be healing
Get outside – Nature can help reduce anxiety and lift your mood
Move your body – Dance, stretch, or go for a walk to release stress
Limit screen time – Take a break from social media if it’s making you feel worse

Building Chosen Family

Sometimes, the people we’re born into family with don’t accept us. That’s painful, but it’s not the end of the story. Many LGBTQ+ people build “chosen families”—people who love and support you no matter what.
Chosen family can be friends, mentors, partners, or even online connections. These are the people who see the real you and care for you deeply. If your birth family can’t offer that, know that it’s still possible to have deep love and connection in your life.

Resources to Explore

Here are some helpful links for LGBTQ+ mental health and support:

Gain Connection with LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapy in Michigan

Loneliness doesn’t mean you’re unlovable or broken. It means you’re human. Everyone needs connection. Everyone needs to feel seen. You deserve safe, joyful relationships with people who respect and celebrate you. If you’re struggling, we are here! There are people who want to know you, love you, and walk beside you. The LGBTQ+ community is full of strength, creativity, and resilience. You’re not alone—and your story matters. At Embodied Wellness, we are here to hear your story. Through LGBT therapy or LGBT trauma therapy, loneliness no longer has to define you. Reduce your loneliness by:

1. Scheduling a free consultation

2. Meeting with a supportive LGBTQ-affirming therapist in Michigan

3. Gaining self-confidence, connection and community.

Explore Other Online Therapy Services We Provide in Michigan

At Embodied Wellness, PLLC, we offer comprehensive online therapy services to support adults and teens navigating trauma, depression, and OCD. Our holistic approach includes specialized treatments like Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, DBT, CBT, ERP, and Internal Family Systems to address your unique needs. We also provide low-cost therapy options across Michigan, ensuring accessible, compassionate care for all. Whether you’re looking to heal from trauma, manage mental health challenges, or find culturally competent support, our online therapy services in Michigan are here to help. Take the first step toward healing today by reaching out to explore our tailored therapy options.

About the Author:

Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP is the founder of Embodied Wellness, PLLC, a group therapy practice providing online therapy in Michigan. She is passionate about expanding awareness of somatic therapy as a way to treat and heal trauma. She incorporates other holistic treatments into her practice including EMDR and IFS.

Navigating Loneliness: Finding Connection in the LGBTQ+ Community