Building Confidence in Your LGBTQ+ Identity After Trauma
Being part of the LGBTQ+ community is something to be proud of. But if you’ve experienced trauma, it can make it harder to feel confident in who you are. You might question yourself, feel ashamed, or wonder if it’s safe to be your true self. These feelings are normal, especially if you've been hurt, rejected, or made to feel “less than” because of your identity.
This blog will help you understand how trauma can impact LGBTQ+ people and offer simple, real ways to start rebuilding your confidence. Whether you’re just beginning to explore your identity or looking for ways to heal and grow, you are not alone—and you deserve to feel strong in who you are.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma is what happens when something really scary, painful, or overwhelming affects your mind and body. It can come from a single event, like being bullied or rejected, or it can build up over time, like living in a home or community where you didn’t feel safe.
Some examples of trauma LGBTQ+ people may experience include:
Being kicked out of your home after coming out (over and over again)
Being bullied, harassed, or attacked because of your gender or sexuality
Losing friends or family because they didn’t accept you
Being told your identity is wrong or sinful
Living in fear of being “outed” at school or work
Experiencing racism, ableism, or other types of oppression alongside your LGBTQ+ identity
Trauma can affect your sense of safety, your body, your thoughts, and your emotions. And when you carry this pain, it can feel hard to love and trust yourself.
How Trauma Affects LGBTQ+ Confidence
When people go through trauma, especially related to their identity, they often start to believe negative things about themselves. You might think things like:
“I’m too much.”
“I don’t belong anywhere.”
“No one will ever accept me.”
“Maybe I’m broken.”
These thoughts aren’t true, but trauma can make them feel real. You may even try to hide parts of yourself or avoid being around others out of fear that you’ll be judged or hurt again. This makes it even harder to build confidence, because confidence grows through being seen, accepted, and loved just as you are.
Why Building LGBTQ+ Confidence Matters
Confidence isn’t about being loud or outgoing. It’s about knowing who you are and feeling okay in your own skin. Confidence is also about being compassionate towards yourself. It’s about standing tall, even when others don’t understand you. And most importantly, it’s about believing that you matter.
When LGBTQ+ people build confidence in their identity, they:
Feel safer expressing themselves
Set healthier boundaries
Form stronger, more supportive relationships
Recover more easily from stress and rejection
Show up in the world with pride
Healing from trauma takes time, but confidence is something you can build—step by step, one kind choice at a time.
10 Ways to Rebuild Confidence After LGBTQ+ Trauma
1.Start by Naming What Happened
Trauma can make us feel confused. You might question if things were “really that bad” or blame yourself. But healing starts with truth. If someone hurt you, rejected you, or made you feel unsafe because of your identity—that’s not your fault.
Write about your experience. Talk to someone you trust. Say the words out loud: “That wasn’t okay. I didn’t deserve that.” Giving voice to your story is a powerful first step toward healing and self-respect.
2. Connect With Safe, Affirming People
Surrounding yourself with people who truly accept and celebrate you is key. This might be:
LGBTQ+ friends
A supportive therapist
Online support groups
LGBTQ+ community centers or events
Even one affirming person can help you feel less alone. When others reflect back love and acceptance, it becomes easier to believe that you are lovable and worthy—because you are.
3. Set Boundaries With People Who Don’t Support You
You don’t have to stay in relationships that hurt your self-esteem. If someone constantly questions your identity, misgenders you, or makes you feel small, it’s okay to take space—or walk away completely.
Setting boundaries doesn’t mean you’re being mean. It means you’re protecting your peace. You deserve relationships that make you feel more like yourself, not less.
4. Practice Affirmations That Match Your Truth
Affirmations are short, positive statements you can say to yourself every day. They help rewire your brain to see the good in you, even if it feels hard at first.
Try saying:
“I am proud of who I am.”
“My identity is valid.”
“I am healing, growing, and becoming stronger.”
“I deserve love and respect.”
Write them on sticky notes. Put them on your mirror. Say them out loud. Over time, these small words can make a big difference.
5. Explore LGBTQ+ Culture
There’s more to being LGBTQ+ than pain. Our community has a rich history of strength, creativity, and joy. Learning about LGBTQ+ leaders, artists, and change-makers can help you feel more connected to something bigger than yourself.
Watch queer movies or TV shows like Schitt's Creek. Read LGBTQ+ books. Listen to podcasts or music by queer creators. Joy is part of your story too—and learning about it can help you reclaim pride in your identity.
6. Be Kind to Your Body
Trauma can live in the body. You might feel tense, disconnected, or like your body doesn’t belong to you—especially if you’re transgender, nonbinary, or gender-nonconforming.
Reconnecting with your body gently can help build confidence and healing. Try:
Stretching or yoga
Dancing to music you love
Taking slow, deep breaths
Wearing clothes that make you feel more like you
Resting when you need to
Your body is not the enemy. It’s part of your story—and it deserves care.
7. Create a Self-Care Routine That Works for You
Self-care isn’t just bubble baths or spa days. It’s about doing things that make you feel safe, strong, and grounded. This could be:
Journaling your thoughts
Drinking enough water
Taking breaks from social media
Spending time in nature
Talking to a LGBTQIA affirming therapy in Detroit, MI
Start small. Even one or two self-care actions a day can help build a sense of control and self-worth.
8. Celebrate Small Wins
Building confidence doesn’t happen overnight. But every time you do something that honors who you are, it counts.
Did you correct someone when they used the wrong name or pronouns? That’s confidence!
Did you wear an outfit that feels like you? That’s confidence!!
Did you reach out for help or support? That’s confidence too!
Celebrate every step. You’re growing.
9. Find a Therapist Who Understands LGBTQ+ Trauma
Therapy can be a powerful tool for healing. A therapist who understands LGBTQ+ issues and can help you identify goals such as working through past trauma, challenging negative beliefs, and building a stronger sense of identity.
Look for therapists who say they are LGBTQ+ affirming, trauma-informed, or part of the LGBTQ+ community themselves. You deserve care that sees all of you.
10. Know That Healing Is Not Linear
Some days you’ll feel proud and strong. Other days you might feel unsure or low. That doesn’t mean you’re going backward—it just means you’re human.
Confidence after trauma isn’t about never feeling doubt again. It’s about learning how to come back to yourself, again and again, with compassion. Be patient with your process. You’re doing brave work.
You Deserve to Feel Confident in Who You Are
If you’ve experienced trauma, it’s not your fault. You are not broken. And you are not alone.
Being LGBTQ+ is a beautiful, powerful part of who you are. You deserve to feel confident, loved, and proud—no matter what anyone else has said or done.
Healing may take time, but every day, you have the power to take steps toward wholeness. Be gentle with yourself. Keep showing up. Keep choosing you.
Your identity is valid. Your story matters. And your future is bright.
Additional Resources
If you're looking for more help, here are some places to start:
The Trevor Project – Crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth: www.thetrevorproject.org
LGBT National Help Center – Peer support and resources: www.glbthotline.org
PFLAG – Support for LGBTQ+ people and families: www.pflag.org
You can also check out our blog on LGBTQ resources in the metro Detroit area!
Start LGBTQ Therapy in Detroit, Michigan
Trauma can shake your sense of self, but it doesn’t define who you are. You are more than your pain. You are full of strength, courage, and light.
Take one step today toward loving yourself a little more. Whether it’s writing a journal entry, calling a friend, or simply taking a deep breath and saying, “I’m doing my best”—that step matters.
You’re allowed to take up space. You’re allowed to heal. And you’re allowed to be proud of who you are.
To start LGBTQ therapy at Embodied Wellness, PLLC follow these steps:
Be matched with one of our gender affirming therapists.
Feel better, now!
Other Online Counseling Services in Michigan
At Embodied Wellness, PLLC, we offer a variety of holistic treatment services for adults and teens with anxiety, depression, and OCD. We specialize in EMDR, Somatic therapy , Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, and DBT for trauma. We also specialize in CBT, ERP, and Empath Counseling. We offer online therapy in Michigan. Start overcoming your trauma today by visiting our Detroit-based practice.
About the Author:
Sarah Rollins, LMSW, SEP is the founder of Embodied Wellness, PLLC, a group therapy practice providing online therapy in Michigan. She is passionate about expanding awareness of somatic therapy as a way to treat and heal trauma. She incorporates other holistic treatments into her practice including EMDR and IFS.